


just like falling in love with a machine i fell for you

by gababa



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Yixing is an android that helps jd to get over his lover's death, robot!au, that's basically it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-05-06
Packaged: 2018-10-24 23:09:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10751700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gababa/pseuds/gababa
Summary: Jongdae's life ended when the airplane exploded leaving him with the bittersweet memories of his love, Yixing. Luckily his father and his friend know just the guy, or more precisely the android for it.





	1. Chapter 1

He opened his eyes and looked around. The room was dark and stuffy. He was in a large room which looked like an office with a bookshelf and sketches scattered around, but he knew he was at his master’s house. Not really a master, the other word… creator, ah yes, his creator. He was an old man with white hair and sharp eyes; people called him Doctor Kim. K2 called him that too.

“You think this will work?,” said the other man in hushed whispers.

The other man was around the same age as Doctor Kim. He had a soft voice and something in his way of talking made K2 think he was nice. The other man and Doctor Kim were conversing near the bookshelf, while K2 was sitting on a chair at the other end of the room. They repeatedly looked at him while talking and K2 guessed they were talking about him.

“It’s better than doing nothing. You have seen the state the poor boy was in. We will lose him if we just stay aside and let him suffer. He’d been through enough. I won’t let him suffer more,” said Doctor Kim before turning to look at K2 with sympathetic eyes.

The old man was looking down and his shoulders were shaking. Was he… crying? It was what humans were supposed to do when they were sad, wasn't it? K2 wondered if it actually helped to ease their pain or it was a simple distraction.

“Poor Yixing, poor Yixing and my poor, poor Jongdae,” the man was sobbing loudly while the doctor was rubbing his back as a way to comfort him. K2 knew what that gesture meant since the doctor often did that to him as well, though he was a robot and it didn't really matter. Doctor Kim crouched in front of the old man and murmured;

“I know how hard it is for you, believe me I know. I loved him too, but if we don’t do this, we might loose the other as well. He is all that we have left. We can’t let this child die.”

Was the doctor crying too? K2 wondered if he was programmed to have this emotion as well. If humans did it so often maybe it had some pleasurable effect. He’d ask Doctor Kim later.

The two man soon calmed down. The old man dried his eyes while Doctor Kim came close to K2 and begun speaking.  
“K2, I have a very important task for you. You have to promise to do it diligently. It is very important. Can you help me save a life?”

 _Save a life._ That was something new. Sure androids were used in medicine but they were mostly used as assistants and never as doctors. Humanity still didn't trust machines. They were simple robots who supplied doctors with needed instruments and helped the patients to recover. They didn't save lives. That K2 knew for sure. He also knew that he definitely wasn't a medical android so the doctor’s request seemed unusual. Nonetheless, K2 agreed. He always liked (it was the right word for the positive emotions, wasn’t it) Doctor Kim, so if there was a way he could help he would do it even if he wasn't programmed for it.

“This is my friend, Kim Joonmyeon. His son’s name is Jongdae. Jongdae was engaged to Yixing. Here is their photo,” said the doctor handing K2 an old-fashioned photograph.

There were two young man on the photograph. One of them had brown hair and was smiling from ear to ear. He had his hand around another boy around the same age. He was a bit taller, but not too much, with dark black hair and pale skin. His eyes were closed too and his mouth was wide open. He had his hand around the other boy’s waist. In his other hand was a leash. K2, although programmed to understand human emotions, didn't understand why looking at the photograph of the happy boys had a bittersweet effect on him.

“As you can see, Jongdae and Yixing loved each other and they were very happy. They used to have a small shop where Yixing baked goods, while Jongdae arranged flowers. They were a perfect couple and we were all happy for them until the accident happened,” the doctor paused as if talking about the accident hurt him, before continuing, “Yixing had to leave the country for the weekend and we went to the airport together to see him off, but the airplane… the airplane exploded. The engineers didn't bother to check the airplane properly before it took off. It burnt down right in front of our eyes, in the air. Jongdae was there too. It was an awful shock for all of us, but it mostly hurt Jongdae. After the love of his life died right in front of his eyes, he closed off completely. That day he died. He stopped eating, sleeping, talking. He refused to talk to Joonmyeon as well. Nothing could console him for the pain he felt was much greater than ours. We tried everything – shouting, threatening, guilt-tripping, but nothing worked. He was utterly crushed and there was nothing we could do. Or so we thought. Until I remembered about the android I created. You can help him. I made you look like Yixing. Only you can help Jongdae now. You are our only hope,” finished the doctor and looked at K2 with curious eyes.

K2 thought for a bit before saying;

“I’m an android and it’s my duty to help humans. I’ll do my best, doctor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if this sounds too familiar, then yes i watched an anime and it crushed me so much that i decided to turn it into an angsty fic. i know i barely write original stories but what can i say my stories suck. also to those who are subscribed to 'don't go breaking my heart' i just want to let you guys know that hope dies last. ill continue it someday hopefully  
> ps doctor kim is minseok just because


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, early in the morning K2, or as his creator started calling him, Yixing went to Jongdae’s house. The home itself was on the second floor, the first floor was the bakery/flower shop. K2 hadn't seen much of the world as he was created only recently, but even he knew that bakeries/flower shops weren't a common thing. He’d ask about it Jongdae. He walked around the bakery and thought that it was in a strong need of cleaning. The stands were dirty, the chairs were thrown around as if someone tossed them, the tables were flipped. Overall the room looked like a tropical forest after a storm. K2 made his mind to clean the room as soon as he finishes helping Jongdae. He didn't think it would take too much time; how complicated can human emotions be anyways? For now, he was climbing the stairs to the second floor were Jongdae lived. The second floor also had the same aura of a quiet after a storm. Everything seemed dead and yet K2 knew that once the room was full of people. Of happy people. He crossed the tiny hall and reached the bedroom. That’s were Jongdae was. He knocked and when he didn't get a reply he said;

“Hello. Jongdae, are you there? My name is Yixing. I came here to look after you,” although K2 still referred to himself as K2 he knew he should start getting used to being called Yixing. To being Yixing.

He heard hurried footsteps as if someone was running. In seconds the door was wide open.

“Yixing!,” the voice was somewhere between hysterical and excited, but as soon as the boy’s eyes landed on Yixing, they lost their glim and his voice lost its liveliness, “Oh, it’s just you.”

In front of his eyes was Jongdae – the boy from the photo. Except he looked nothing like the photograph. He was pale, much skinnier than in the photo, his blinding smile seemed long gone and forgotten. He was looking at Yixing with dead eyes as if he was there and he wasn't at the same time. Yixing thought just how much a person can change through time. Is love that painful?

“You know me?” inquired K2.

“You are Doctor Kim’s android. He told me he would sent you to me. I told him before and I’ll tell you now that I don’t need your help and I don’t need you.”

Jongdae shut the door on Yixing’s face. Yixing stood there for a second not really sure what he should do. Should he go back? But Doctor Kim said that his job was very important and he couldn’t leave it. On the other hand Jongdae said that he didn’t need his help, and he was programmed to follow his human’s instructions. Yixing pondered for a bit before deciding that although this human wasn’t very cooperative, he’d finish his job no matter what.

Yixing decided that he could start with cleaning the house. After all he doubted the mess in the house had a positive effect on his patient. He started with the second floor and cleaned every spot he could reach. He was rearranging the writing table in the living room, when he found the photo album. Yixing found it strange that people who live in the century of androids still printed photographs. The sentiment of nostalgia was not programmed in him. He opened the book and flipped through it. He saw some photos of baby Jongdae with a man who he assumed was Kim Joonmyeon. There were also many photos including Doctor Kim. After all he did say he was close friends with them. A few photos later he saw himself. Well, not exactly himself – K2, but rather Zhang Yixing - the person he was substituting for. In all the photos Jongdae and Yixing looked very happy. In some photos they were on a beach, on the others they were with a dog, in some they were with family. Yixing noticed that humans only took photos of their happy moments. Maybe they simply wanted to forget the bad ones.

He watched some more until the photos ended. The last photo caught his attention. There wasn't anyone in the photo – just two hands. Two hands and a jar. He looked closely and saw the writing on it – ‘dream jar’. The hands were holding the jar and it was obvious that the hands belonged to two people. Yixing decided to find what was in it that seemed to be important enough to be held and taken photo of. The looked like it was taken on the very same table where the album was so Yixing started from there. He looked through and through, until, finally, he found the jar on the small bookshelf by the window. He took it in his hands and looked inside. There were pieces of paper in it. He took one and read – ‘to get a rabbit’, then he read the next – ‘to watch a musical in Broadway’, and the next – ‘to adopt a baby’, and the other – ‘to make Dad go on a date with uncle Minseok’. Yixing nearly laughed at that one. Those were dreams. The dreams of the real Yixing and Jongdae. Those were the things the original Yixing wanted to do but couldn't anymore. Maybe if K2 did them, they’d make Jongdae happy. Yixing flipped the jar and dropped all the notes on the ground, then picked them up one by one, read them, and put them in his pockets. He’d deal with them as soon as he had finished cleaning the house.

The kitchen was a mess considering Jongdae barely ate. The dishes were dirty, the cupboards were dusty and Yixing might or might not have seen a mouse running behind the refrigerator. He sighed and begun working. Somewhere between taking out the spoiled food from the refrigerator and killing the cockroaches, Yixing noticed that it was past 4 pm and Jongdae still hadn't left his room. He must have been starving. Yixing decided that he’d continue cleaning some other time. He opened his phone and looked for recipes on the internet. When he found the appropriate one, he took his bag and approached the bedroom saying;

“I’m going to the convenience store. Do you need something?”

When he didn't get an answer, he simply turned around and went out.

 

xxx

 

The sun was hot. Even for a robot it was unbearably hot. And yet Yixing had a mission and he needed to finish it. He followed the map until he reached a place packed with people. It was the first time he saw so many people. Some were walking around with tiny humans hanging off their hands, others were with people of their age talking loudly and joking around. Other people, those who were working, were looking at him with expectant eyes. Human world was much more complicated than his program insisted. He looked around some more, simply enjoying the human presence until he found the right place to get the ingredients. When he came back home, everything was in its place. He was sure Jongdae hadn't left his bedroom at all. He sighed again before starting to cook. It took some time but the results weren't too disappointing. He was lucky to be one of the few androids who had the five senses humans have. He put the rice and the sauce on the plate before heading to the bedroom.

“Jongdae, I made you dinner. It is my first time cooking, but I think I did great. What do you think? Give it a try.”

Silence. He thought that Jongdae would at least open his door, but it didn't happen. Oh well. He would try some other day. Today he just needed to go home and recharge. So he did just that.


	3. Chapter 3

Yixing somehow knew that he would find the food untouched the next day. A very unreasonable waste if you ask him. He took the tray and emptied it in the trash. Then he began making breakfast. He was sure that this breakfast would have the same fate as yesterday’s dinner but it was worth a try. What if Jongdae decided to finally eat and there wasn't food for him? He couldn't let that happen. He put the newly made breakfast in front of the bedroom door and looked through his schedule.

 

**9:00 Arrive at Jongdae’s house**

**9:05 Breakfast for Jongdae**

**9:20 Clean the house**

**10:30 Look for a rabbit**

 

Although his program required having a strict schedule, his program also required accomplishing tasks that were actually realizable. The last rabbits kept by humans were released a century ago.  After the invention of the robots and new food sources, humanity decided to finally set animals free. All the animals – whether they were kept at zoos, or at houses or at shelters were set free. Humans were banned from keeping them in their houses. Animals were allowed to live their lives without being disturbed by humans. Humans, instead, could keep pet androids. They had the same functions and the same ‘feel’ as the animals except they didn't mind living in small apartments. In short, Yixing had no idea how he was supposed to find a real rabbit without breaking any laws. Yixing tilted his head and looked at the paper long and hard. In the end he figured he needs a human’s advice and went looking for Doctor Kim.

 

He found Doctor Kim in the Recreation house. It was a fancy name for Elderly house. Doctor Kim was one of the main doctors there. Although he was a master android designer and creator, he enjoyed working with real people and helping them. So when Yixing found him, he was repairing Mrs. Ahn’s wheelchair.

“Good morning, doctor.”

“Oh, Yixing, my boy, nice seeing you here. Did something happen?”

There were 2 things that Yixing always liked in Doctor Kim; 1) he was very nice and treated him like a real person, 2) he was always on point.

 “I needed help in finding a rabbit.”

“A rabbit?” asked Doctor Kim raising his brow.

“Yes, a rabbit. I found a jar filled with papers. I figured they must be real Yixing’s and Jongdae’s dreams and one of them was getting a rabbit. I thought maybe getting a rabbit will help Jongdae,” explained Yixing quickly.

Doctor Kim smiled with a smile Yixing long figured meant sadness.

“You are really trying to make Jongdae happy. Thank you, Yixing,” said Doctor Kim with earnest smile.

“Of course, doctor. It’s my job,” said Yixing with a smile before adding, “So where can I find a rabbit?”

Doctor Kim stood up sighing. He rubbed his neck and seemed deep in thought. Then he looked at Yixing and said;

“I really don’t know, my boy. Domesticating rabbits was banned long time ago and I can’t even remember the last time I saw a real one.”

When Doctor Kim saw Yixing’s disappointed face, he added;

“Maybe you can find a different version of a rabbit? Like a substitute one.”

Yixing’s eyes gleamed with joy.

“A substitute one? Just like me?”

Doctor Kim’s smile faltered.

“Yes, Yixing, just like you.”

Yixing thanked Doctor Kim, before heading to the market.

 

 Market was full of people just like yesterday. He looked around for some time before noticing a rabbit cut on a paper. It was hanging off the roof of a small shop. He went inside and asked the worker if he could buy it. The person was rather taken aback since it was a simple ornament and it wasn't for sale, but when Yixing said he’d pay for it no matter how much the seller wanted, the man agreed instantly. Yixing took the paper rabbit in his hands and examined it. For some reason he wasn't really satisfied with his purchase. It looked just like a rabbit should, except he was deep red and had no fur. That wouldn't do. He needed to find a rabbit for Jongdae. He couldn't give this to him. He thought for a second before he had a brilliant idea. He beamed and headed to another store. Jongdae wouldn't resist this. He finally did something right.

 

Yixing slid the paper through the door crack and waited for a reaction. And the reaction he got was worth all the trouble he got through since Jongdae laughed. Loudly. Jongdae’s laugh did something to his system, since Yixing could feel himself getting lighter for some reason. Was this happiness? Yixing was already smiling before he could realize Jongdae’s laughter’s effect on him.

The laughter soon quieted down and he heard the sound of a thin paper being picked up.

“Only Yixing could have come up with something like this,” said Jongdae.

Yixing’s smile got even bigger and he was scared for a second that his artificial skin may tear apart. He knew he had made the right choice, when he bought gray fur from the store and glued it on the paper rabbit.

He heard a faint sigh coming form the opposite side of the closed door before he heard a quiet ‘thank you’. Maybe it was the smile heard in Jongdae’s vice, maybe it was the courage coming from succeeding a mission, maybe it was simple curiosity that made Yixing ask the question.

“What was he like?”

Ever since he heard about their story, he often tried to imagine what kind of person Yixing could have been. Was he unique or maybe rare that his death affected Jongdae like that? Was he somehow different from the rest of the humanity? Was he irreplaceable?

For some time Jongdae didn’t say anything. Yixing thought maybe he was being too bold and just when he turned around to leave, he heard the sound of a body leaning against the door. Jongdae sat down and started talking. Yixing did the same on the opposite side of the door.

“To be honest he was an idiot, a complete dumbass. He was the type of person who would spent hours in the bakery and not leave it until he perfected a certain type of cake he just found out. He was also the type of a person who believed people easily. A person could come up to him and ask him if he could give them bread now and pay later, and that idiot would just give it to them for free and add a few pieces of cake just because he felt bad for that person. And it didn't even matter if the person did it more than once. Every time they'd come, he would give them the same treatment without asking for money back. No wonder we often had trouble with money. That idiot was too naïve.”

“You keep calling him bad names, but your voice is devoid of negative tone. Is this human’s way of expressing affection? It’s too confusing.”

Jongdae snorted.

“Human emotions usually are.”

It was silent again so Yixing added.

“If he really was that stupid why did you like him?”

“You can’t choose who you like and who you don’t. Humans don’t work on orders like you robots do.... He wasn't stupid, not really. He liked reading and he was very wise. He just trusted people too much,” said Jongdae with a more bitter tone.

Yixing wondered if there was more to Jongdae’s words, but he’d ask that later, for now he wanted to know something else.

“How did you meet?”

Jongdae snorted.

“You are an android, but right now you sound exactly like a human,” then he continued, “We met 3 years ago. It was mid autumn. I was walking home from the market. I had to take a different road, since my usual one was under construction. Maybe it was destiny after all, but it was on that odd street that I met him. The street was empty since it was pretty windy and when I was passing by a narrow alley I heard a voice. His voice. He was talking to his dog, or more like scolding him. At that time he was homeless and his only companion was his dog named Gou. Gou had stolen bread from the bakery nearby and Yixing was scolding him. That idiot was literally saying stuff like ‘Gou, we talked about this. We never steel from others. Hey don’t you dare to turn your butt to me when I'm scolding you! And stop drooling it’s already as chilly as it can get!’ If it was anyone else, I’m sure I would have just walked by thinking the person had gone insane. But for some reason, I felt the urge to help him. Although at that time I simply laughed. He turned around to look at me and both of us felt it. We just froze and looked at each other. I felt as if electricity went right through me. I coulnd't move, I’m not sure I was breathing either. All I could do was to stare at his deep black eyes. In that moment I felt that my life changed forever.”

Jongdae went quiet and Yixng impatiently waited for him to continue. But then…

“Enough for today,” said Jongdae standing up.

Yixing wanted to argue but kept silent. It was already good that on his second day he managed to get Jongdae to talk. He guessed it was mostly because he sounded just like real Yixing. Maybe hearing his voice made Jongdae think he was talking to the real one. With these thoughts Yixing headed to the kitchen to make something for Jongdae. He didn't know for sure whether his dish would have the same fate as the previous ones, but he still worked hard and when the food was ready he put it in front of the bedroom door. The next day, however, a very unexpected surprise was waiting for him. The plate was half-empty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why can't yixing find a rabbit android while he used to have an android dog? well the answer is simple im fuking dumb just don't think about it. the next chapter would be worse. also i suck at naming stuff. i literally named yixing's dog "dog" ffs. anyways english isn't my first language so feel free to correct me i hardly notice my mistakes


	4. Chapter 4

All morning Yixing was in great mood. Jongdae actually ate his dish. Even if he had eaten only the half of it, it was still better than nothing. In the same day Yixing managed to get him to talk and to eat. He was making a progress. These thoughts made him giddy. He was really grateful he could actually feel this emotion. Most androids didn’t have emotions – just consciousness. It was all they needed for the work androids were designed to do. Not to mention the money and the diligent work it required to create artificial emotions. Not many scientist would have bothered that much. They usually made quite cheap and quite simple androids for simple tasks, but Doctor Kim was different and so was K2. He could feel things. Not with the same intensity as humans but he knew what sadness or happiness meant and he had felt them before. He knew he felt sadness when he heard about Yixing’s story, and he knew he felt happiness when he saw the half-empty plate. His emotions were simpler and clearer than the human’s but he was glad he had them. It made his job enjoyable. Not many androids had that privilege.

Yixing was thinking about this while he was making breakfast. He hoped Jongdae would eat this too. He noticed that he had gotten better at cooking and was happy that in near future he would be able to make much tastier and much more complicated dishes for Jongdae.  But would he be around long enough for it? Just how quickly would Jongdae recover and get rid of him? Yixing shook his head. He was an android; of course humans used them and then tossed them aside – that’s his job. He hoped after that Doctor Kim would take him back and maybe use him in the Recreation center. He enjoyed helping humans and he really enjoyed Doctor Kim’s company.

The breakfast looked great and the smell was even better. He put the tray in front of the bedroom door before saying;

“Thank you for eating my cooking. Please eat this one too.”

He bowed to the closed door and headed towards the small living room. Or tried to before he heard Jongdae’s voice.

“How did you know?”

“Know what?”

“About the rabbit thing. I doubt my dad or uncle Minseok told you, since only the two of us knew about it.”

“I found your dream jar,” answered Yixing.

When he didn’t hear anything else, he begun worrying.

“I’m sorry for intruding. I shouldn’t have…”

“It’s alright,” added Jongdae bitterly, “You need to know a thing or two about real Yixing, if you are going to pretend to be him.”

“Pretending to be him is not my goal,” said Yixing calmly.

“Then what is your goal?” said Jongdae half interested half annoyed.

“To help you.”

Jongdae went silent after that. Yixing really wished there wasn’t a door between them so he could at least know whether their conversation ended or not.

“You can’t help me,” barely whispered Jongdae.

“How can you know that?”

“I just know.”

“It's not a valid argument Kim Jongdae.”

Jongdae snorted.

“You know it was the most Zhang Yixing thing you could have said. Doctor Kim made a perfect copy of him,” Jongdae didn’t sound too thrilled with his discovery.

“Is it good or bad?” Humans were confusing, but Kim Jongdae was the most confusing one.

“I don’t know either,” added Jongdae before heading towards his bed.

Yixing took the hint and went away.

After a few hours Yixing was finally done cleaning the house. He sat in the living room for some time just staring at the walls, before deciding that he needed to make lunch for Jongdae. Apparently he needed to buy groceries, so he went to Jongdae’s room to inform him of leaving the house. The tray was on the floor, but there was a note on it. It simply read ‘thank you’. Yixing was beaming.

 

xxx

 

Yixing was on his way back home around 6 pm. The weather was nice. The late evening sun was shining in all its maroon glory. Yixing was passing a very unusual street when a woman in very revealing cloths approached him asking if he wanted to have fun. Yixing made a mental note to avoid that street next time he went home. He told the woman that he was not interested and went straight ahead. He was passing by a bar when he saw someone from the corner of his eye. The man looked at him, looked ahead, and then again looked at him before approaching. The man came very close and Yixing looked at him carefully. The man, or rather the boy, as he seemed to be in his late 20’s, was handsome although very short. He had very gentle features and shiny eyes, which made him look like an innocent child. Something in his eyes made Yixing think the boy wasn't that innocent. The boy was smiling when he said;

“Yixing, long time no see. How have you been?”

Oh, so it was real Yixing’s acquaintance or maybe friend. The boy seemed friendly enough. Yixing didn’t know what to say. Should he tell him that he was not the real one? The boy sounded so cheerful he didn’t want to be the person(the android) telling him that Yixing was dead. The boy’s smile was too pretty to ruin. He simply stared back.

The boy put his hand around Yixing’s shoulder.

“I’m so sorry you guys had a fight before the accident,” said the boy a bit more seriously.

Did he refer to the airplane accident? Did Yixing and Jongdae have a fight? Why did he never hear about it before?

Yixing wanted to ask the smiley guy what he knew, but two huge men came running after him. They were shouting something about tearing the boy apart. The boy sprinted and before he would disappear from Yixing’s sight he said;

“I’ll catch you later, Xing.”

The two men were running after him. Yixing sincerely hoped those men wouldn’t catch him.

xxx

 

Yixing got home twenty minutes later. He put the groceries in the refrigerator and begun cooking. He wanted to make something new today so he begun looking up recipes. He found a recipe from Italian cuisine, so he begun making that. The recipe seemed challenging but cooking turned out easier than it looked. It took an hour but it was worth it. He put it on the tray and went to knock on Jongdae’s door. He put the tray and begun talking.

“Hey, Jongdae. I came back. I made lasagna today. Hope you’ll like it. Also thank you for eating my cooking,” then Yixing continued, “By the way, do you know Yixing’s friends?”

The question caught Jongdae off guard.

“Of course, why are you asking?”

“I met someone today. He asked me how I was and then said he was sorry you had a fight before the accident.”

“What did he look like?,” Jongdae sounded intrigued.

“He was very handsome. He was very short. He had shiny yes and small frame.” 

“Oh, just as I thought. It was Luhan. He is Yixing’s childhood friend. They were inseparable.”

“How about the fight? He said something about you guys fighting,” Yixing hoped Jongdae would actually explain it to him.

Jongdae took a deep breath before starting.

“We had a huge fight. Right before the airplane explosion. We were having money problems for a while. The bakery was quite profitable, but keeping the flower shop coasted far more than we could afford. The money it brought was barely enough to buy new material. Yixing hated depending on other people so when my dad suggested helping us he refused to take money from him. Three days before that damn flight, he put the bakery for sale. I was beyond pissed. Bakery was Yixingi'’s. He loved working there. He made it from the scratch. Thinking that he made such huge decision without me pissed me off. I couldn’t live with the fact that he sold his dream to keep mine. He went through so much. Ever since I met him I promised myself to give him everything he deserved and needed, but he kept on making sacrifices for me and I couldn’t bear it. We had a huge fight. He told me he hated feeling that he would never be good enough for me. I told him I hated his attitude. He stormed off. We didn’t talk the next day. He didn’t even come home; maybe he was at Luhan’s. His biological father died the next day and he was required to attend the funeral. He had to fly to Changsha. We went to see him off. I thought maybe we would resolve things on the way to the airport. But we kept on fighting. If only I kept my mouth shut… if only…” Jongdae’s voice sounded like he was crying.

Yixing couldn’t stop the sharp pain in his heart. He pressed himself against the door, as if he could comfort Jongdae in some way.

“It wasn’t your fault the airplane exploded. It would have exploded either way. It’s not your fault Jongdae,” tried to convince Yixing.

“But it was me who said I don’t need him. I told him to go to Hell. I fucking told him that,” Jongdae was sobbing loudly.

Yixing didn’t know what to say.

“The very last words I ever told him were ‘I don’t need you. Get lost’. I’m such a goddamn idiot. He died thinking I don’t need him, even if he was the only thing I ever needed.”

Jongdae was already hiccupping from crying so hard. Yixing hated hearing his sad voice. Yixing wanted to help, but how? What was he supposed to do in this type of situation? He quickly looked trough the net and found that the best way to help a crying person was hugging. Yixing had never done it before and although he was a bit hesitating because what if he didn’t do it the right way and made the things worse, but he couldn’t bear hearing Jongdae’s sobs.

“Jongdae, can you please open the door?”

“W-why?”

“I need to hug you to stop you from crying,” said Yixing in a way as if it was the most obvious thing on the Earth.

Jongdae froze for a few seconds before be unlocked the door. It was the second time Yixing saw Jongdae. This time he had a huge gray blanket covering almost all of his body. He was wearing a simple white shirt and black sweatpants. His cheeks were red and tear-strained. One of his hands was drying his tears and snot, while the other was tightly keeping the blanket in it’s place. Overall, he was a sobbing mess.

He looked at Yixing with expectant eyes and Yixing realized that it was his time to move. He came close until his body was pressed against Jongdae’s and carefully wrapped his hands around him. Jongdae did the same and Yixing relaxed realizing that he didn’t screw it up. Hugging was nice. Amazing even. He was  a bit taller than Jongdae. Jongdae pressed his face against Yixin'g chest, while Yixing rested his chin on Jongdae’s shoulder. He could smell Jongdae’s hair. It didn’t smell good (maybe the boy didn’t feel like showering) and his chest was becoming wet from the tears, and yet Yixing thought hugging was the most pleasurable thing he had done.  Did humans hug all the time? Now more than ever he envied humans who could and did hug other humans. An android like him might have never discovered the pleasure coming from hugging a warm human body had it not been Jongdae’s sadness. He wondered if Jongdae would let him hug him again? He would really like that.

Jongdae’s sobs soon quieted down. They just stood on the threshold of Jongdae’s bedroom just hugging each other and feeling the warmth coming from the other’s body. One real, the other artificial.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if this was too messy there were like 15 people at our home today i wrote this thing piece by piece. anyways we have like 4 or 5 chapters left so don't worry you won't be stuck with me for a long time. ill try to update daily (key word try). unedited


	5. Chapter 5

For a few days Yixing and Jongdae followed their routine. Yixing would come at Jongdae’s place at 9 am sharp. He’d make a breakfast then take it to Jongdae’s room. He’d knock and Jongdae would open the door, take the tray, and after a few minutes he’d hand it back not forgetting to thank Yixing for the meal. Then Yixing would do the dishes, and if he didn’t need to buy groceries, he’d spend the morning sitting on the sofa doing nothing. He quite liked doing nothing.

The afternoon he’d spend doing one of the things from the dream jar. Although most of the time this was quite challenging. On the day after the hug, he had to come up with a new type of bread. It turned out to be much more difficult than it seemed. He spent six hours in the kitchen trying to pick right ingredients only to find out that they had already been used by someone somewhere. Yixing nearly gave up before an idea came to him. He added to banana bread’s mix cherries and oranges. It turned out to be a some sort of a fruit salad-bread. Yixing was quite content. He actually enjoyed working in the bakery. He liked how quiet it was, how the mix took every shape he gave to it, how it smelled when it was baking. What was even better was realizing that he created something, and that it would make Jongdae happy. Just thinking that already made him happy. When he presented the bread to Jongdae, he handed him a fork because after spending so much time baking he had the right to see Jongdae’s face while eating. Jongdae took a bit from the piece of cake and his eyes became wide. He munched quickly, took another piece and with an open mouth told Yixing that it was very tasty. Yixing was beaming.

The next day he was looking for a puppy in the pet store. The android dogs grew up and behaved just like actual dogs would, except they were easier to look after and they didn’t need food or a walk in the park. Yixing bought a mini-poodle. It was white and wiggled its tale as soon as he saw Yixing. He was very cute. Yixing took the dog in his hands and paid with the money Kim Joonmyeon gave him at the start of his mission. He couldn’t keep his smile off his face when he handed Jongdae the puppy. Jongdae hugged the puppy close to his chest and didn’t say anything. Yixing asked about its name and Jongdae told him that he should choose, since he had bought him. After a small protest Yixing named him Snow, because of his color. Jongdae laughed then snuggled his face into the puppy and took him to his room not forgetting to give a quick hug to Yixing. Yixing thought his processor shut down for a few seconds. He couldn’t move. Sure they hugged a few days earlier, but it was to stop Jongdae from crying and not because Jongdae felt like hugging him. The evening Yixing spent with a smile on his face.

The next dream was spending the whole weekend snuggled on the bed. This one was the easiest; although Yixing felt nervousness as he explained to Jongdae why he wanted to enter the bedroom. Just how many emotions had Doctor Kim programmed in him? Wouldn’t it be better if he had none? The nervousness became even worse when for five minutes or so he didn’t get a reply from Jongdae. Jongdae was becoming more accepting to him and a lot nicer but maybe it was too early for this dream. He was already apologizing for daring to say that when the door opened. Jongdae looked as if he had been running. In fact he was speed-cleaning the room. Yixing went inside and lay on the bad. He signaled Jongdae to follow his lead. Jongdae lay down to his left side. At first they were both on their backs with only their sides touching. Then Yixing pulled Jongdae to his chest, so now Jongdae’s head was resting on his chest. Jongdae seemed not to be breathing for a moment before he relaxed. Yixing put his hands around Jongdae’s waist. The lay like that all day with occasional Snow jumping on them. Yixing thought it was the best day (or rather days, since they did that for two more days) he ever had.

Today was a bit different. He gave the breakfast to Jongdae and not only Jongdae took it, but he also smiled. Not the full-blown smile he had on his pictures, but a small, shy one. Yixing froze in his place from the unexpected sight. He awkwardly thanked Jongdae and went to sit in the living room. Sitting alone was very nice. Most of the time his mind was blank and he enjoyed staring at the walls of the living room. Other times he thought about Jongdae; did he eat the food? Was he getting better? Would he ever smile the way he smiled in those photos? He took the piece of paper he had put in his pocket beforehand and read it again: _Make Dad go on a date with uncle Minseok_. Yixing couldn’t keep his snicker to himself. He phoned Doctor Kim and after laughing for some time he said that if it would help Jongdae he would do it. He told Yixing to talk to Joonmyeon too, just to explain the situation. Yixing decided against calling Mr. Kim on the phone. He informed Jongdae that he was leaving the home, although he doubted Jongdae heard him since he was too busy teaching tricks to Snow. Jongdae hadn’t been locking his door for a week now.

Kim Joonmyeon’s house was huge. Of course it would be; he was one of the richest people in the city. This was a bit strange. How could Jongdae have such a rich dad and have financial problems? It didn’t make much sense.

Mr. Kim was a bit surprised to see him. Yxing calmly explained what he was doing and why it was important.

“So you spent all this time trying to make their dreams come true?” Mr. Kim sounded like he was simply thinking out loud, “Maybe this is really helping after all.”

Then as if remembering Yixing was there he asked.

“So what can I do for you, my boy?”

 “You can go on a date with Doctor Kim,” said Yixing in his most composed voice.

And that was really hard considering how the old man’s face was too funny not to laugh at.

“Come again,” said Mr. Kim blinking quickly.

“I said one of their dreams was to make Doctor Kim and You go on a date.”

Mr. Kim softly chuckled at that.

“Ah, those brats. Always messing with me,” said Mr. Kim with a smile.

He agreed and when Yixing wanted to leave, he seemed to have remembered something. He told him to wait and went to a different room. When he came back there was a small parcel in his hands. He gave it to Yixing.

“This is Jongdae’s present for Yixing.”

Yixing opened the parcel and saw a small silver flower in it. It was jasmine, his database supplied. His database also supplied that in flower language it meant eternal love. Yixing felt a sharp pain in his heart which made him wonder just how intense Doctor Kim made his emotions.

“It’s jasmine. It signifies eternal love,” that Yixing already knew; what he didn’t know was…, “Jongdae made this not long before the accident. He was really good at anything that required careful hands and wild imagination. It was his present for Yixing’s birthday, so he asked me to keep it so Yixing won’t find it before that.”

Yixing carefully examined the lavaliere. Even if it was hand-made, Yixing immediately could tell it was done with high level of mastery. The petals were simply gorgeous. They were done meticulously. The filaments and stigma were done so artfully they looked real.

“He spent a two months simply learning to work with silver and only after he was sure he could do it perfectly, he begun working on this. Overall, he spent 6 months trying to make this,” said Mr. Kim.

“He really loved Yixing, didn’t he,” said Yixing quietly.

Mr. Kim didn’t say anything. He simply stared at the photo hanging off the wall. Yixing looked at it and saw Jongdae, himself, Mr. Kim, Doctor Minseok and Luhan. Wait… Luhan?

“You know Luhan?”

“Of course. He was Yixing’s best friend. How do you know about him?,” asked Mr. Kim with barely hidden panic.

“I met him in the street. Jongdae told me what his name is. Why do You look so panicked?,” asked Yixing.

At that Mr. Kim composed himself.

“I was just surprised.”

Yixing went close to the photo to look at it closer. He and Jongdae… no, real Yixing and Jongdae were in the middle. Mr. Kim and Doctor Kim were by their sides. Luhan was standing behind Yixing with a yellow Labrador in his hold.

“When was this taken?”

“On Yixing’s 26th birthday,” replied Mr. Kim coming to stand beside Yixing, “What a night that was! Yixing proposed to Jongdae, and it took us fifteen minutes just to calm him down. My poor son was crying so hard. He was so happy. To be honest, I was really happy that I turned out to be wrong.”

“About what?” asked Yixing facing Mr. Kim.

“About Yixing. I didn’t trust him at all when we met.”

When Mr. Kim noticed Yixing’s questioning look, he continued.

“Jongdae has always been too kindhearted. He always dragged damaged pets to Minseok’s and begged him to fix them. He would pet working androids and tell them that they were doing a great job and cry every time one of them broke down. He was too soft and I feared that people would take advantage of it. So imagine my state when one day Jongdae drags to my house a homeless boy and his dog. Yixing at that time was too skinny and too distrustful. Even if he followed Jongdae to our house, he refused to take any money from him and snapped at him every time Jongdae even dared to pity him. He was too prideful. I didn’t trust him. He left the impression of a person who had been through hell, and although I wanted to help him, I didn’t want him to have anything to do with my Jongdae. You see, I had Jongdae when I was 38 and after that his mother died. I was always overprotective of him.”

“What happened next?”

“I asked Minseok to look after him and for a year he stayed at Minseok’s. He helped Minseok to repair androids and look after the elderly in the Recreation house. Jongdae always sneaked off to give Yixing a lunch or simply to spend time with him. After some time I just gave up trying to reason him. Through time Yixing slowly changed. He begun smiling and talking to us. It was hard disliking the boy.  He was mature for his age, hard-working, cunning and very attentive when it came to Jongdae. I often visited Minseok just so we could watch them interact from afar. God, I sound like an old man, but it was what we did. I wanted to be sure Yixing was a good person, because ever since I saw Jongdae’s pleading eyes when he brought Yixing to our house, I knew my son was head over heels for him. Fortunately, Yixing seemed to be in similar state. He was always smiling around Jongdae and stealing glances. Jongdae was the only person whom he never scolded for being touchy with him. Once, he jokingly called Minseok an ‘old perv’ when the latter tried to hug him on his birthday. You should have seen Min’s face.”

Mr. Kim laughed at that.

“He was really such a nice kid though. Over the time he opened up even to me. After that I treated him like my son. I couldn’t stay in their way (not that Jongdae would allow me that in the first place; he was always free-spirited), but I thought they’d make a good pair. Jongdae was affectionate and naïve, Yixing was careful and overprotective. His life made him that way.”

Mr. Kim looked gloomy.

“Did he have a difficult life?” the more Yixing heard about Yixing and Jongdae the more he felt sad for both of them.

“He was born with a weak heart. His parents bought a new one for him, but they couldn’t pay the debt so they left the boy when he was 8. I’m not sure if I can blame them. After that the poor boy lived in the orphanage. There he met Luhan. His parents had died from a car accident. They became close friends after that, soulmates even, as Yixing often said. Jongdae always got jealous hearing that, although he knew what Yixing meant. It was called an orphanage, but mostly it was a children’s work camp. They made the kids work for the robot-making companies. They had to fetch android parts from dumpsters and rivers. Yixing never went into details but you can imagine the things he and Luhan went through. They run away when they were 16 and spent a few years doing all kings of jobs. They got separated when Yixing was 22. Luhan had gotten in trouble with a powerful gambler and had to disappear from the town. He left a note saying that he’d come back when it’d be safer. Yixing then found a damaged dog - Gou and repaired her. She was all he had until he met Jongdae that evening.”

There were so many thoughts in his head at that time – about Yixing’s parents, about Jongdae, about Luhan, about the new family Yixing found and about his death. Life was unfair. Yixing had been through a lot and when he was actually happy he died in an explosion. No wonder Jongdae had been in such a terrible state. Jongdae felt what Yixing felt. Why couldn’t humans shut down their emotions like robots can?

Yixing thanked Mr. Kim for the lavaliere and for the information and headed to Jongdae’s house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally FINALLY im done with the backstories (mostly). okay first things first joon gave yixing money to spend on jongdae's recovery, he doesn't get paid for it. secondly luhan found yixing a year later after yixing met jongdae, thats why everyone knows luhan. thirdly the dreams aren't really dreams but more like their goals that were too absurd or too unreal or simply took time thats why they wrote them down. xiuho's date was one of the less serious ones. also the rabbit and the bread thing were yixing's dreams, the date and the snuggling thing were jongdae's. also i had no real intention of making xiuho so old it but face it they are old. and lastly but not the least, i love laychen but id also die for layhan. also have you seen luhan's post???? can't believe that after getting brutally murdered by sm exo-m is still thriving kings only!!! unedited yet again. kudos and comments are really appreciated i need to know if the story is any good


	6. Chapter 6

 Yixing didn’t know what he expected to see when he opened the door, but it wasn’t it. Jongdae was standing or more like crouching as he was tying his shoes. He froze when he saw Yixing. In a few short seconds he clung to Yixing hugging him so tightly Yixing begun worrying his titanium back would snap in half. The hug was so out of nowhere that Yixing didn’t even hug back; he stood there while Jongdae snuggled his face between Yixing’s shoulder and neck.

“Where have you been?” came Jongdae’s muffled voice.

 “I was at Mr. Kim’s. I told you,” replied Yixing with a curious tone.

Was Jongdae worried he had run away? That was stupid. An android without his creator never lasted long. Even if he wanted to run away (which he didn’t) he wouldn’t last without having frequent repairs and sensors checked. The more complicated androids were the more attention they needed. Jongdae should have known it.

“No, you didn’t. I was worried sick for you!” Jongdae snuggled his head further into Yixing’s shoulder.

_He was worried. Worried for him._

He felt as if the breath was knocked out of his mechanical lungs. No human had ever worried for him. Well, Doctor Kim was always attentive to him, but he was his creation so of course he would. Jongdae was different.

 “You were worried for me?” asked Yixing in astonishment.

Jongdae pushed himself off Yixing just enough to look at his face while saying;

“Of course I was, you idiot. You just disappeared and I had no clue where you could be. I even wanted to come looking for you.”

Jongdae, the person who hadn’t left his room for months, decided to leave the house just to find him. Yixing was speechless for a few seconds; he just stared at Jongdae with his mouth slightly open. Then as if coming to his senses he said calmly;

“You had no reason to be worried. I can manage myself. I’m an android after all.”

For some reason Jongdae furrowed his brows.

“Yes, you are an android but that doesn’t mean that you are safe from harm. There are many people who kidnap and sell androids especially the emotive ones. Please be more careful.”

Yixing nodded curtly not quite processing the whole situation. But then a realization came to him.

“So you were worried that people would steal me?”

“Of course.”

“Well, I’m sure Doctor Kim would make a new one in case I went missing, so you had nothing to worry about,” said Yixing in his most nonchalant tone.

Jongdae gasped without a sound. The he looked as if Yixing had offended his entire family tree.  

“How could you say that! Just because you don’t have blood running through your veins doesn’t mean you aren’t worth anything. Uncle Minseok spent months working on you; you are his best creation. Do you even know how proud he is of having created you? Do you know how much he cherishes you? You have a mind, a personality and emotions, even if they are artificially created and not as complex as human’s ones, they are still important. You can’t just neglect yourself. You aren’t that easily replaced as you think you are.”

“What about you?”

“About me?”

“Do you cherish me also?”

The look on Jongdae’s face was a sign he shouldn’t have really asked that, but he couldn’t help himself. He was a simple copy of the person Jongdae loved. No matter what he did he would never be as good as the original one.

Jongdae lowered his head. Slowly he took a hold of Yixing’s wrist and dragged him to his bedroom.

 

xxx

 

None said a word. They were just sitting on Jongdae’s bed; both thinking about the same question from different perspectives. Suddenly Jongdae left the room but shortly came back with the photo album in his hands. He sat on his previous place – on Yixing’s left side and begun flipping the photo album.

Yixing turned his head to look at it too. He had seen those photos before - on his first day at Jongdae’s house. This time wasn’t different. He still felt a numb kind of a pain when looking at the photos, but this time he also noticed something he never noticed before.

“Why doesn’t Yixing have photos of his own?”

There were over 30 photos in that album and in none Yixing was alone. He was usually with Jongdae, on some he was with Doctor Kim, in the others he was with the rest, and some where of just Jongdae, but never Yixing alone.

“He didn’t like taking photos of himself. He enjoyed taking photos of everything around himself – the city, the people in it, our family and me, but he never took his own photo. He hated seeing himself alone in the frame. Photos for him were the reflection of the world he lived in, so he hated seeing himself alone in them. He hated seeing himself all alone in this world. He was terrified of it.”

They went silent after that. The atmosphere was gloomy.

After the silence, Yixing asked a question he had on his mind all the way from Mr. Kim’s house.

“Was he happy? In the end?”

His own voice sounded weird to him at that moment. The words itself were weird; too heavy too terrifying.

Jongdae looked at him with a thoughtful expression.

“I hope he was,” Jongdae’s voice had never sounded so unsure, so soft.

His grip on the album tightened. Yixing noticed that and put his hands on Jongdae’s. They were very cold. Jongdae had lowered his head again, but when he felt Yixing touching him, he didn’t pull away. After some time, Yixing took the album from Jongdae’s hands and put it on the bedside table. He made Jongdae lay down. When he turned around to leave the room, a hand grabbed his wrist.

“Please stay.”

The voice was pleading. Yixing lay down next to him. He turned his head to look at Jongdae, but Jongdae was already looking right back at him. There were only a few inches apart; Yixing lying on his back and Jongdae on his side. Yixing just stared back at Jongdae. There was something in Jongdae's look. He couldn’t keep his eyes off him. He was too beautiful. Before Yixing could realize anything, Jongdae tilted his head and closed the  small distance between them. The kiss was a simple touch of lips on lips, but it felt as if his whole body was on fire. Yixing still had his eyes wide open when Jongdae broke the kiss. He still lay close to Yixing with their noses touching. Yixing spent the whole night just looking at Jongdae.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is kinda short but the next one is gonna be long rip my eyesight. still can't believe i pulled a 'you.are.valid.' oh well. anyways the next chapter would make a lot of things clear since it would be about k9 so put up with me (this is either the best thing ive ever written or the worst there is no in between)


	7. Chapter 7

For the first time since the accident there was laughter heard in that old, tiny apartment. For the first time since the accident the owner of the house could say that he was happy. Awfully and very much happy. For the first time since the accident his life regained its colors.

Yixing and Jongdae were in the bakery. When the morning came Yixing went to make breakfast for Jongdae, but this time Jongdae joined him too; just to see him work. That didn’t make much sense but it felt nice. Yixing wanted to make omelet, but Jongdae insisted that he wanted to eat the fruit salad-bread Yixing made him some time ago. Yixing couldn’t argue with the puppy eyes (they were far too powerful) and begun working. He was mixing the flour with the water, when Jongdae came and stood right behind him. His eyes were concentrated on Yixing’s movements and when Yixing asked if he wanted to try Jongdae nodded quickly. Yixing chuckled at that as he instructed the over-excited Jongdae to wash his hands properly and come to stand in front of him. Jongdae quickly put his fingers in the mix and begun giggling. He was too cute. Yixing put his hands on Jongdae’s and showed him what he was supposed to do. Yixing couldn’t keep his giggles every time Jongdae tossed the mix around and insisted that he made Yixing’s portrait. They added the rest of the ingredients and waited for it to bake. While they were waiting Jongdae blew on his hands to clean the flour on it, but as he was standing right in between Yixing and the oven, it flew right to Yixing’s face. Yixing grimaced and scolded Jongdae with his eyes. Jongdae instead blew on his hand again. This time it was very intentional. Yixing took a handful of sugar and attacked Jongdae with it. Jongdae didn’t give up easily - counterattacking with a handful of flour. The fight ended in draw as they needed to take the bread out of the oven. It smelled amazing; even better than the first one Yixing did. He wanted to give it to Jongdae to eat as soon as it got cold, but Jongdae insisted in sharing it with his dad.

“But we can make another one. You should eat this one. Or even better; you can eat this while I’ll make the other one.”

“Where’s the fun in it?” Jongdae was pouting. “You know if you really don’t want to give it to my dad I can understand. I just want to see him. I have something important to tell him.”

At the last sentence Jongdae was pointedly looking at Yixing.

“What?”   

“That the treatment is working,” said Jongdae beaming.

Jongdae’s smile could rival the sun in its warmth. Yixing knew that Jongdae changed a lot since he appeared, but hearing it from Jongdae was even better.

“Alright, Mr. Kim’s house it is then.”

 xxx

 

Mr. Kim’s eyes watered as soon as he saw a pair of smiles on his doorstep. He hugged Jongdae tightly and kept saying ‘thank you’s. Yixing was standing behind Jongdae with a proud smile. Everything was great and Jongdae was happy what else he could want.

 

 xxx

 

There is an interesting thing about tragedies – they are always meant to happen when the rain is pouring down and the storm is raging, but actually through most of the humanity’s story the greatest tragedies happened on sunny days. It is the false sense of security, of nothing being able to go wrong, that makes the tragedies even worse. No one expects to have their life destroyed on a sunny day, but it’s usually what happens. That had happened to Yixing too. Twice already.

Yixing and Jongdae spent their afternoon at Mr. Kim’s. The old man was very happy to be in the company of his son, especially after he had become better. In the evening when the sun was still in the horizon, the couple decided to head home after some grocery shopping. The weather was nice and so they strolled through the city. The city was beautiful. They reached the railways which were right beside the picturesque river, when suddenly Yixing heard his name. He kept walking thinking his sensors needed a check, when the voice sounded again – clearer and closer.

“Hey, Yixing, don’t you dare to ignore me!” said the voice half playfully, half demanding.

Both Yixing and Jongdae turned to look at the source of the sound and saw none other than Luhan. He had two other boys standing by his side; none of them looked half as friendly as Luhan, and to be honest at that moment neither did Luhan. There was something wicked in the way he was smiling at Yixing and he instinctively stood in front of Jongdae, as if trying to shelter him. Jongdae seemed worried too.

“Yixing, let’s just go,” Jongdae pulled his sleeve.

“Not so fast. It’s the first time I’m seeing my best friend after the accident,” Luhan was coming closer and closer and so were the other boys.

“I’m sorry, but you are mistaken. We aren’t friends,” said Yixing.

“Not friends, huh?” Luhan’s smile seemed different. It was somewhere between pain and sarcasm. “Anyways, I’m sorry, but I have to take your charming companion with me.”

Jongdae started pulling Yixing’s sleeve with more force.

“I won’t let you!” Yixing wanted to control himself but he was panicking.

“You are far too skinny to do much. I’m really sorry for doing this to you, my friend, but I have to sell him,” Luhan would sound apologetic if his words weren’t so cruel.

“I won’t let you!”

“Think for yourself; two against three. It never ends well. Just let me take him, Xing. I don’t want to hurt you. Be a pal and just tell him to come with me.”

“I know that you were friends with the human Zhang Yixing, but I’m an android that is helping Jongdae. You’re confusing me with him,” said Yixing.

Luhan snorted.

“The only one confused is you, my friend.”

Just as Yixing wanted to ask Luhan to explain himself he heard a scream. _Jongdae._ One of the boys held him by his waist, as the other was holding him with a rope around his neck.

Yixing lost himself. He punched the guy who was holding the rope and wanted to get the other one but he was turned around and punch right in his jaw. It was Luhan. He punched back with all his might. Luhan went back a few steps, touched his face and looked at the blood on his hands.

“You goddamn idiot!”

He attacked Yixing again, but this time he managed to get Yixing pinned on the ground while he restlessly punched his face.  

“Wake up you idiot!”

He punched again.

“Snap out of it, you moron!”

And again.

  
“How long are you going to pretend?!”

 

The last punch was so strong that made Yixing hear a scream, or was it just Jongdae? Everything turned black, but then he saw the familiar set of hands. They were handing fresh baked bread to a little girl in yellow skirt. Then he saw Jongdae in front of him with teary eyes saying that if he was that useless and stupid, Yixing should break up with him. Jongdae’s face soon changed and he saw a half-damaged dog growling miserably while staring at him across the alley. He saw himself crouching in front of her and telling her that he could repair her, that he would help her. Then he saw Jongdae in the airport.

_“Do even know what hunger means? Can’t you see that I’m doing this for us?” Yixing’s voice was strained from shouting so much._

_“Maybe you are doing this for us, but the only opinion you care about is your own. I’m tired of this and I’m tired of you!” shouted back Jongdae._

_Yixing’s heart sunk low, but his anger was too much to keep quiet._

_“Fine! Then I don’t need you either! I don’t need you or anyone else. Just go to hell!”_

_“If it means getting away from you!”_

Jongdae turned around angrily not even bothering to say goodbye to his dad and uncle, who were the silent witnesses of the situation.

The next vision that flooded in was the most painful one. Yixing saw the airplane form the windows of the airport. It flew steadily for a few seconds but then the tail of the plane begun burning. It reached one of the engines on the wings and soon the airplane exploded.

Airplane exploded with Jongdae in it.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dun-dun-DUN. this chapter was literally the reason i wrote this fic. was this any good? did you see it coming? i made so hints since the second chapter pls tell me if you guessed it or not. i hope after reading this chapter the others make more sense. im not done yet we still have at least 2 chapters so stay tuned. also yes i do know this is too ooc but whatevs. another thing i didn't try to portray jd as a damsel in distress he was panicking because he knew luhan would tell yixing the secret sooner than yixing was ready


	8. Chapter 8

When Yixing opened his eyes he was no longer in the field near the railway. He looked around and saw the familiar gray walls of his old bedroom at Doctor Kim’s. He tried to get up but almost immediately regretted it. He had a terrible headache. There was only one time he had a similar headache; when he and Luhan sold the old man’s watch and…

Luhan and he. The memories came back to him. Quickly and painfully. He sat back on the bad and held his head in his hands. He couldn’t think, he didn’t want to.

He tried again and this time managed to get up. He went to Doctor Ki… no uncle Minseok’s room where he knew he would find the old man. And he did, but he also found Jongdae’s dad sitting across him on the sofa. He entered the room slowly. The men who before his entering were discussing something in low whispers, quickly shut up and looked at him. Yixing kept his eyes low. He closed the door and lent his back on it.

“Is he dead?” asked Yixing in a low and steady voice.

“Yes,” replied Minseok carefully.

He was following Yixing’s every move, every breath; he was too scared of another breakdown.

Yixing didn’t say anything. He still kept his head downcast and all Minseok and Joonmyeon could see was his black hair. Soon, however they saw a teardrop on his cheek and the rest that followed. Minseok rushed to Yixing and tightly hugged him; resting the boy’s head on his board shoulders. Yixing clung unto Minseok and cried loudly. For the first time since leaving the airport he was crying.

 

xxx

 

_It all happened too fast. Yixing run out just to make sure the windows weren’t deceiving him. Maybe they were screens and someone was making an awful joke. Yes it was all it was, a stupid prank, an illusion. But when he exited the airport hall, nothing changed. The plane was speedily crushing down. Yixing run towards the direction where the remains of the airplane were falling to, as if hoping he’d catch Jongdae. Maybe, just maybe Jongdae managed to get out of it. Maybe if he run fast enough he would be able to catch him. Maybe he was still alive. Yixing run and run until he missed a step and fell hard on his face. When he tried to get up again he heard the loud crush of the airplane. It landed. Now everything was gone. Jongdae was gone._

_He sat on his knees as he begun crying. He fisted his hands and started to punch the hard ground on which he was sitting as if it could change anything. He kept punching and screaming. This wasn’t real. This couldn’t be real. His Jongdae couldn’t be dead. He kept screaming Jongdae’s name until his throat was aching and he could not make a sound._

_Joonmyeon wasn’t in a better state. His only son, his only happiness in this world died and there was nothing he could do about it. He was chatting with Minseok about Jongdae’s very untimely flight to attend his grandma’s funeral when they saw people rushing to the windows. People sounded terrified and a few cries were heard. Joonmyeon and Minseok rushed to see what was wrong. And what they saw made them wish they could go blind on the spot. Joonmyeon felt his legs giving up on him and a few pair of hands dragging him to sit on a chair. “My Jongdae, my Jongdae” was all he could say as he wailed loudly._

_Minseok was crying beside him, but then he remembered Yixing and begun looking for him. If he felt this bad – he, a person who was merely Jongdae’s father’s friend, how would Yixing feel? He composed himself and went looking for the boy. He had to be strong for them, he could grieve later._

_He couldn’t find him in the crowd that was still standing around the windows. He tried asking people if they saw a short, black haired boy but none saw anything. Everyone was too focused on the accident. All of them lost someone in that flight and at that moment they didn’t really pay attention to anyone else. Minseok went out of the waiting hall hoping to find him outside. He heard a loud scream as soon as he exited the hall. Yixing. He ran towards the direction of the sound to find Yixing on his knees with his head on the ground. He wanted to help the boy but what could he do? What was there to do? He knew Yixing well enough to known that Yixing needed to go through it alone. If he approached him Yixing wouldn’t accept his help. So he stood there and watched as the boy who for the last 3 years was like a son to him cried and screamed. Then when Yixing could no longer scream he smashed his hand on the ground so hard a cracking sound was heard. At that Minseok run up to him. He crouched down next to the boy and caught his hand before it’d reach the ground again._

_“Yixing stop! It won’t bring him back.”_

_The moment he saw the look in Yixing’s eyes he felt as if his heart was crushed into pieces. Yixing kept on crying while Minseok gently caressed his back. When the boy’s tears ended, Minseok made him stand up. Yixing seemed to be in daze. He quieted down and did everything Minseok told him to._

_They went back to the waiting hall and found Joonmyeon on the same spot. Minseok lightly tapped on Joonmyeon’s shoulder to let him know he came back. Joonmyeon looked at him, but then he saw Yixing standing behind Minseok with red and tear-strained face. He quickly got up and hugged Yixing. His pain made him forget about his son’s fiancé. Yixing didn’t hug back. He was just standing there as if he wasn’t present. When Joonmyeon’s tears ended too, Minseok escorted them to his car and drove to his place. There was no way he’d let Yixing sleep in Jongdae and his house._

_Yixing was sprawled on his old bad at uncle Minseok’s. He had been staring at the ceiling for a few hours now. He couldn’t sleep. There was something wrong with him. As he lay he kept thinking about Mr. Kim and uncle Minseok.  Joonmyeon hadn’t stopped crying and same was true about Minseok, but he was different. He couldn’t bring himself to cry. He didn’t feel like it. He didn’t feel anything.  He just stared at the ceiling and breathed. That’s what he did for two days._

_On the third day was Jongdae’s burial. He was sitting in the room full of strangers and half-strangers and he couldn’t stop wondering what he was supposed to do. His expression was blank and so were his emotions. He looked to his right and saw Joonmyeon, who was shaking hands with an old woman. Both the woman and Joonmyeon were crying.  The woman gave her condolences and approached Yixing. When she told him how tragic Jongdae’s death was and how sorry she was, all Yixing did was nod. She was right. Jongdae was dead and it was bad. He simply agreed with the facts, except the woman seemed to think differently. She looked at him as if he had a second head. Minseok, who witnessed the whole scene, quickly approached the woman and explained to her that Yixing was still in denial and he was grieving in his won way. But Yixing wasn’t in denial. Jongdae was dead. He wasn’t denying anything. He wasn’t grieving either. He knew he was supposed to, but when he looked at the closed coffin he didn’t feel anything._

_The funeral passed in similar fashion. That night as Yixing was falling asleep first time in three days he wondered if he was a robot, since he didn’t feel pain. Being a robot. It must be fun; no one to loose, nothing to feel. That night he fell asleep as Zhang Yixing and woke up as K9._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so in short 1) yixing convinced himself that he is a robot as his way of coping. he refused to eat human food that's why xiu had to make him take drop system and tell him its his fuel or he slept and told himself he was recharging and so on, 2) xiuho saw that it couldn't go on so they made xiu's new android to look just like jd and asked yixing to take care of him so yixing would do things and go out 3) k9 (jd 2) knew all the information about yixing from xiuho, 4) luhan wanted to sell k9 so he could pay back his debts, he is still struggling.5)xiu made k9 because his son died when he was 2, but he never had a child after that so even if he didn't want to creat humanlike androids he decided to make one for himself (this doesn't really make much sense but just roll with me) it would take too long thats why i didnt write it. anyways layhan's revival saved my life and cured my anxiety


	9. Chapter 9

Yixing quieted down after some time. It was ironic really. When he first found out about Jongdae’s death it was Minseok who found him, on whose shoulder he cried on, who took care of him. Now too, when he came back to his senses it was still Minseok who took care of him. Minseok let him to cry his heart out then made him drink tea and sat beside him caressing his back. Story repeated itself, except this time there was a slight difference; he felt things. Unlike the last time, when he shut down after crying, this time he still felt a sharp pain in his heart no matter how much time went by. There was something else he was feeling – shame. He was ashamed of himself. He had let down everyone who cared about him. He let down Mr. Kim – the person who despite his better judgment always supported the homeless guy his son dragged in, who made sure Yixing never felt his unworthiness of his son. Mr. Kim lost his only child and he wasn’t there to help him cope with it. He felt terrible for uncle Minseok too. He was the person who took him in, the person who gave him a job, who became someone he could rely on.  He was like a father to him which he never had and this was how he repaid him – by being a pain in the ass. Instead of focusing on helping his childhood friend, uncle Minseok had to take care of Yixing who was so weak he pretended to be a robot to not feel pain anymore. Pathetic really.  But the worst thing he had done to them was to make them pretend Jongdae was still alive. Yixing had been through a lot and had himself done some questionable things but he had never seen something that cruel being done before. Mr. Kim and uncle Minseok had to pretend Jongdae was still alive just because Yixing was weak. He was a disgrace.

“It was K9, wasn’t it?” asked Yixing just to be saying something.

He knew it could only be K9. No other android ever made by uncle Minseok had so much likeness to a human. Minseok always had a high moral code. He like all the other scientists refused to make too humanlike androids. Humanity had learnt its mistakes two decades earlier when a group of humanlike androids tried to get rid of humans. After that scientists still made humanlike androids but never made them too similar to the superior race. They either didn’t look like humans, had no emotions, or couldn’t live long without monthly check-ups. There were created to be simply used as tools. But there are always exceptions. That one was K9.

_Yixing first saw him on his third day at uncle Minseok’s. The first two days Minseok tried to find out things about Yixing, but Yixing wasn’t used to trusting people so he kept quiet. Uncle Minseok seemed distressed with it but made no verbal objections. He showed him what was where and what he was supposed to do. At first he gave Yixing easy tasks, like giving him instruments when he needed them or bringing something from another room. Uncle Minseok himself never had robot servants; he enjoyed doing things on his own. During his second day at Minseok’s, he made a minor change in an android that Minseok had been working on for some time. At first Minseok was pissed when he found out Yixing had touched his new design without permission but when he noticed that android worked better, he inquired where Yixing learned that from. Yixing replied saying that in childhood he was surrounded by androids and although it was pretty vague, Minseok seemed to have caught on as he never asked about his past works again. The next day a very excited Minseok came up to him and told him he had something incredible to show him. Yixing raised his eyebrows but followed the funny old man to his laboratory. There he first saw him. K9 was still in construction; only a part of his corpus was made and his face. At that time he still had his real titanium face; the flesh or rather the flash imitator was usually added at the very end. Yixing took a closer look at the robot’s parts and he had to admit that Minseok had every right to be proud of his work. Minseok enthusiastically showed him his sketches and plans for K9 and when he heard Yixing’s ideas and the very small compliment he immediately told the boy that he could help him with K9 if he felt like it. Yixing was flattered; he agreed. So the whole year he spent helping Minseok to make the perfect android. He spent countless days shut in the stuffy lab with music on blast as he worked on K9’s corpus. His only destruction was Jongdae who pretty frequently visited him to bring him lunch or simply watch him work. He often asked Jongdae if he hadn’t got anything better to do, to which Jongdae always replied that looking at Yixing was the best thing he could do. And every time Yixing had to hide his face, because damn him if he let Jongdae see how much he affected him._

“Yes,” replied Joonmyeon, in careful voice.

“Luhan didn’t steal him, did he?” asked Yixing with furrowed brows.

He really hoped the robot was okay. After all it was Minseok’s work of 5 years.

“No. After you lost consciousness, he easily freed himself from the boy’s grip and then attacked Luhan. He was punching him restlessly and the people passing by had to pry him away from Luhan. He was pissed at him for telling you those things,” replied Joonmyeon.

“Is Luhan alright?”

“He run away as soon as people managed to take hold of Jong- I mean K9.”

“Good,” he was really glad Luhan got away. “Where is K9 by the way?”

“He is in his room. Do you want to see him?” Minseok sounded curious.

“No.”

“I figured.”

Yixing definitely wasn’t ready to face K9, not now that for sure. He didn’t know what he would do if he saw the robot who had Jongdae’s face. It’d break him to see Jongdae’s face but understand that the real one was dead. There was something else bothering him too. He had kissed him. Jongdae had died only a few months ago and he already had feelings for someone else. Technically he thought they were the same person and he had no idea who he really was but it still counted. He kissed a robot in the same room he had kissed and cuddled Jongdae, the same room he made love to him.

What would Jongdae think? Jongdae got half-seriously jealous every time Yixing hugged Luhan or called him his soulmate. He really couldn’t blame Jongdae for not trusting him fully. He was bad at showing his emotions and he often wondered if Jongdae knew just how much he loved him. Jongdae always told him that he knew that Yixing was a ‘soft-cuddle bear’ underneath, but did he really understand just how much Yixing adored him? There were many things he felt sorry for and Jongdae’s insecurities were the biggest of them. And now he unintentionally cheated on his fiancé with someone or rather something that looked just like him.

This was too confusing. His head was aching from all the thoughts and worries.

He decided to go to his room and try to sleep. Maybe in the morning his head would be clearer and his messy life would actually make sense.

He excused himself from the room not without saying goodnight to Minseok and Joonmyeon. When he reached his door he saw a tray in front of it. There was a cup of cocoa on it. He crouched down and read the note that said ‘Hot drinks help humans to feel better. Please drink this’. Yixing didn’t need to look to his left to see a head poking through the door down the hall. He could feel K9’s eyes on him, but he didn’t want to look back. He was too tired, too confused, too overwhelmed to look at the one that was and was not Jongdae. He stood up and went to his room, not taking the tray with him. He didn’t see the way K9’s expectant look turned into disappointment or that the android sighed.  

 

xxx

 

The next day Minseok was making breakfast while Joonmyeon was sitting near the round table – smoking.

“Do you think he’ll get better?”

Joonmyeon didn’t need to say who he meant; Yixing was all they talked about.

“I think he will. Eventually,” Minseok was sure, although he himself didn’t know why.

At that the door opened and K9 walked in.

“Good morning, Mr. Kim, Doctor Kim.”

He bowed to the men and sat by Joonmyeon’s side. Joonmyeon still had a hard time looking at the android; he was way too similar to his son.

He sighed and shook his head. Jongdae wouldn’t want him to be sad. He would want him to try to be happy again and take care of Yixing. Jongdae was the only reason Joonmyeon agreed to the whole mascaraed. The moment Minseok suggested making his newly finished android to look like Jongdae, Joonmyeon immediately refused. He knew from the beginning that seeing his son’s copy would remind him of his death, but at the same time he couldn’t bare to look at Yixing. The poor boy had completely lost it. He didn’t eat food and kept insisting that he wasn’t human and had no idea who he was. It was horrible. Seeing Yixing in his state made him think that his son’s fate was somehow better. So that’s why he in the end agreed to Minseok’s pretty easy and yet pretty risky plan of agreeing with Yixing’s version of reality.

Joonmyeon shook his head again. He was getting carried away by his thoughts. He lit another cigarette as Minseok put a cup of dark coffee in front of him. Minseok seated himself beside K9.

“Did he drink your cocoa?”

 “No,” said K9 in his usual voice, though if you listened carefully you could catch the notes of disappointment in it.

“Don’t worry too much. He just needs time.” said Minseok ruffling K9’s hair.

 “But I figured he was cured already. He was alright before the incident with his friend. Why would he need more time? He already knows who is who, what’s there to think about.”

“Ah, you have a lot to learn about humans, my child.”

“I want to learn quicker so I can help him properly. This is taking too long,” K9 was pouting.

All the time K9 spent pretending to be Jongdae clearly affected him. He even behaved and thought like Jongdae.

“Maybe I should kiss him again,” K9 was thinking out loud.

At that Minseok chocked on his coffee, while Joonmyeon gasped and accidentally chocked on his cigarette. K9 tilted his head wondering what made them so surprised.

“You did  _what_?” Minseok recovered quicker than his friend.

“We kissed. Isn’t it a thing you humans do before you start having se-“

Yixing loudly cleared his throat at that. He was standing in the doorway with an apparent blush on his cheeks.  

“Anyways, I’m heading out so I came to worn you.”

“Where are you going?” asked K9.

“I need to clear my head. I won’t take long,” said Yixing without looking at him.

Neither of them saw Yixing in 2 years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i haven't edited properly neither of these chapters so expect stupid mistakes. we have a chapter left. thanks for putting up with me. if there is anything i haven't made clear yet feel free to ask. on unrelated note have you guys heard f(x)'s four walls demo in english? its lit af (the whole friendzone thing is a huge ass pet peeve of mine but other than that the song is great)


	10. Chapter 10

K9 or as he started calling himself Chen, woke up quite late today. His schedule for today not much; he had to clean the house in the morning, then visit Mr. Kim and make something for him to eat, then he would go to the Recreation center and help around. He’d stay there until 9pm and then go back home. This had been his schedule for 2 years. A lot had changed during those 2 years: he spent a lot of time with the people at the Recreation center and although they knew he was an android, they liked him and even gave him a nickname – Chen. Doctor Kim died when one of his recent androids exploded and wounded him and when he was dying he said that he was happy he was going with a bang. Chen still didn’t understand what was funny about dying. There was only one thing that hadn’t changed yet; Yixing was nowhere to be found.

_The day when he went ‘for a walk’ was the last any of them saw him. When he didn’t come back before dinner, Mr. Kim got worried and decided to go look for him. He even called the police and searched every pond, every river, every place a body could be. Mr. Kim could only think of one reason of Yixing’s disappearance and all of them really hoped he was wrong. In the end police searched everywhere and even checked Yixing and Jongdae’s house twice but couldn’t find him. Mr. Kim who the whole time had been tightly holding Dr. Kim’s hand as a way to comfort himself finally let go when the police told him they didn’t find Yixing’s body anywhere. He was reviled. Mr. Kim wasn’t sure he’d survive Yixing’s death also. Yixing was all he had left after Jongdae.  Dr. Kim was in no better condition. He was trying to be strong for Mr. Kim but Chen could see the way he jumped when the police car stopped in front of the house or the way his face paled after every phone call. Chen was worried too._

_He liked Yixing ever since his hearing sensors were first installed and Yixing checked them by playing music for him. Yixing played music every time he worked. Sometimes he’d notice the change in K9’s brain waves and change the music if the waves suggested displeasure. Sometimes, when Jongdae couldn’t come to the laboratory, Yixing would talk with him. He had already gotten used to talking to someone so on the days when Jongdae was absent he talked with Chen. It wasn’t really a conversation since Yixing was the one speaking and Chen could only listen, but he still enjoyed them greatly. He loved hearing Yixing praise a certain musician before playing his works for him, or when Yixing complained of him being a ‘whiny tasteless baby’ when Chen made him change 3 songs in a row, or when Yixing would gush about Jongdae. He loved hearing that the most. Yixing was so sweet when talking about Jongdae; he would always say how good Jongdae looked, how bright his smile was, how cute he was. He even heard the first time they kissed._

_Yixing was working on his left hand and fixing his nerve endings. Jongdae had been away all weekend so of course Yixing was talking to him._

_“Can you even imagine how spoiled that brat is? He ate the last piece of the chocolate cake – the one uncle Minseok kept for me, and when I scolded him, he literally said I would have ended up giving it to him anyways because I love him. Huh. As if I could ever love his idiotic sunshine smile, or his dumb soft hair, or the way his stupid eyes turn into stupid crescent moons when he laughs, or his dumb loud laugh.”_

_Chen couldn’t see him, but he thought Yixing was smiling. He knew that humans’ voice changed depending on their facial expression and their mood. He often wondered what Yixing’s smile looked like. It must have been as nice as the sound of it._

_“Wow, he must be really shameless,” came the voice from a bit further._

_He didn’t hear anything for a few second even the sound of his bolts being screwed wasn’t heard. Yixing must have stopped working. Then he heard the sound of footsteps approaching and Yixing’s breath suddenly stopping. He was worried that maybe Jongdae killed Yixing, but then a heard a small sound coming from Yixing and then he heard him giggling._

_“Hey, stop that! I can’t kiss you if you keep giggling,” Jongdae sounded like he was smiling._

_“Sorry, I can’t help it. I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy.”_

_After hearing these words he again heard the sound of what he could guess was kissing, but this time it was a bit different; their breaths were short and the sounds were louder. He even heard Yixing emit sounds which he usually heard when Yixing managed to hit himself with the instruments, though this time it sounded less pissed._

_He missed hearing Yixing talk when he moved to his new house, but he was glad because he sounded happy when he said his goodbye to him._

Chen smiled at the fond memories before closing the door and heading to Mr. Kim’s house.

He reached there in twenty minutes, since he went to buy some cherries and banana. He wanted to bake bread for Mr. Kim; the one he once baked with Yixing. He hoped that eating it would make Mr. Kim happier. He saw a motorbike in front of the tiny apartment.

Mr. Kim had sold his old house last year and gave away all his money to the Recreation center. He himself moved to Jongdae and Yixing’s house. He said it made him feel closer to Jongdae.

He wondered who could have anything to do with Mr. Kim; all his family was dead. Maybe his lawyer got a new vehicle.

He quickly opened the door but what he saw made him freeze in the spot. In front of his eyes was Yixing. He had changed; that was noticeable. He was wearing a pair of black ripped jeans with a black top and a black leather jacket. There was a silver jasmine hanging off his neck. _Jongdae's present._

Yixing was looking back at him. The he smiled a small smile and turned to face Mr. Kim again, who was still in his bed. He had a hard time walking around the house. Dr. Kim’s death was the last straw for his tired body.

“My boy, I don’t care. I’m just glad you are alive. I was so worried. I thought I lost you too,” said Mr. Kim wiping his eyes with a handkerchief.

“I’m sorry for making you worried. I needed time and space to understand what I was going to do with my life. Now, I’ve more or less figured it out. I even own a small café.”

Chen couldn’t see his face but he heard the smile in his voice. _Just like before._

“I don’t want to hear that. It’s not important! Just tell me are you happy?”

Yixing went silent for a second before saying;

“It’s hard but I’m getting there.”

Mr. Kim started crying again, but this time it wasn’t the sad-cry Chen had seen so often, it was the happy-cry that he had never seen before.

Yixing raised his hands to his face and wiped his face. Was he crying too?

Yixing bent down and hug Mr. Kim tightly.

“Thank you so much! For everything, for never treating me like garbage just like most people had. Thank you for giving me a chance to be happy and thank you for letting me be a part of your family. Those 3 years were the best time of my life. I really wish I could say this too uncle Minseok too, but I was too late.”

Yes, he was definitely crying. Chen couldn’t decide whether it was the happy or the sad cry. Maybe both?

“He knew. I’m sure he knew you loved him even if you didn’t show it. He was happy that he got a chance to be your father even for a short time. He told me himself. I too have something to be grateful of. Thank you for making my son happy. He couldn’t have fallen for someone who deserved him more than you did. Thank you, Yixing.”

They didn’t stay like that for a long time. Yixing straightened himself and turned to look at Chen.

“Can I talk to you privately?”

“Yes.”

Chen told him to follow him and they ended up in the bakery, which had been closed for years now.

“What do you want to say to me?”

“Do you like me?” asked Yixing.

“Why are you asking?” Chen tilted his head.

“I want to know. It’s an easy question.”

“You are nice. I do,” replied Chen looking Yixing in the eye.

“Then come with me.”

“Come with you?    

“Yes, I’m pretty sure there is nothing wrong with your hearing sensors. After all it was me who installed them,” Yixing added quickly.

“No, I heard what you said. What I meant is why do you need me to come with you? Do you still need treatment?”

“Apparently time was the medicine I needed. I’ve accepted that Jongdae has died and I’ve moved on.”

“Then why do you need me?”

“Honestly? I’m just tired of being alone. So tired of it.”

“I still don’t understand.”

“You know my past, you now how I grew up. It was difficult but I could bear it because I had Luhan by my side. When I lost Luhan, I found Gou. Then Jongdae came around. Even after Jongdae’s death I had Mr. Kim and uncle Minseok; without them I don’t know what I’d have done to myself. I was in my worst condition both mentally and physically, but I still had them. But one of them is gone now and Mr. Kim is ill. And I’m just tired of losing people. Everyone I ever cared about got ripped off my life and I’m tired of seeing them go and not being able to do anything. You know, I always prided myself in that fact that I was independent, that I didn’t need anybody, that I was free, but In fact I’m very dependent. I need to have someone around me; someone who I can trust and who can understand me. I know I sound like a weak person, but that’s who I am. I’m weak and I need your help. You are an android. Unless someone kills you, there is no way you can be ripped off my life. Maybe with an artificial person I’d be luckier than I was with real ones.”

Yixing was talking steadily as if he had practiced it before, but his hands were fidgeting; he was nervous.

Chen listened with utmost attention and care. He wanted to help Yixing after all that was the reason he was created the way he was but there was a thought that bothered him;

“Do I have to pretend to be Jongdae? Because if yes, then I have to decline your offer.”

He didn’t want to be anyone besides Chen – the friendly and helpful android the people at Recreation center like so much.

“No. You don’t have to. I told you. I’ve moved on although it took a lot of time. Right now I just need K9.”

“Chen.”

“What?”

“My name is Chen now.”

Chen liked the way Yixing’s smile grew big enough to show his gums.

“Sorry, Chen, so what do you say?”

“Can I become your lover then?”

Yixing got flustered.

“I-I do-. If that will make you come with me then sure,” Yixing’s voice wasn’t so sure though.

“But do you want to?”

Yixing looked down and that was an answer enough for Chen.

“I will come with you but you don’t have to do things you don’t want to.”

Yixing quickly raised his head. He came close and hugged.

“I’ll take good care of you, don’t worry,” murmured Chen.

 

xxx

 

And he did although it took him a lot of time. They moved to the city were Yixing lived. They wanted to take Mr. Kim with them but old men are usually very stubborn, so he declined and they didn’t pester him. At the beginning things were difficult. Sometimes Yixing would unintentionally call Chen ‘Jongdae’ and Chen wouldn’t talk to him for a day. Sometimes Chen would try to hold his hand or just sit next to him and Yixing would pull away. Sometime they would fight because Chen would keep on telling Yixing the statistics of people dying in motorcycle accidents and Yixing would speed up just to spite him. But gradually things worked out. Yixing begun seeing more clearly the differences between Chen and Jongdae; Chen was practical, Jongdae was emotional, Chen was shy, Jongdae was bold in his advances, Chen liked tidiness, while Jongdae was messy. Over the time he began liking Chen as a dear friend. One night when Chen calmed him down after a nightmare, Yixing grabbed his face and kissed him. But unlike their first time he knew who he was kissing and he knew that he wanted more. That night a very terrifying yet exciting revelation came to him; he was happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i killed minseok just so i could use a pun, i think he is proud of me. i haven't edited this yet so sorry for the mistakes im dead tired. firstly thanks for reading my writing and leaving kudos. secondly i wrote like 4 chapters today so if things dont make much sense just ignore them ill fix later. this was a wild ride but it was nice. One more thing this is based on anime "Hal" (60 min film) so if u liked this u can watch it as well. The main plot points and the twist were from it but the ending is different.


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